Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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