Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
