she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
