I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
