Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
