White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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