Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
