I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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