Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
