College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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