Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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