Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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