Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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