he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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