The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
