I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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