Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
