Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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