i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
