If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
