cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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