What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
