I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
