I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
