they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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