Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize