Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
