she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
