Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize