Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize