you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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