If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
