Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize