i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
