he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
