what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what day is it and did you see me today?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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