and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
