note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize