No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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