My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
