If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
