people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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