Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
