Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
