You insisted on take shots off of plates.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I will be naked everywhere
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
