that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
