i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
