Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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