but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
