After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize