what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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