lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
