the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
