Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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