is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
