how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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