I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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