My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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