She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
