Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
