I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize