Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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