A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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