Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I cockslap morals
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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